the way you talk
by yrume
Summary: KakuHidan One-Shot - shônen ai, fluff - Kakuzu wants to do some paperwork, but gets distracted by Hidan, who simply can't keep his mouth shut.


I wonder what he's doing again. He's sitting at his desk, eyes glued to some papers in front of him.

"Kuzu?", I ask quietly, but loud enough for him to hear me. I'd love to glomp him from behind, but I know how much he hates being touched when he's working. So I sit down onto the bed and stare at his back instead. He seems to be so busy he hasn't even heard his name.

"Kuuuzu", I start another try, louder this time. He lifts his head and stares out of the window, obviously thinking about something. Damn, I can't stand him being like this. He heard me, I know he did.

"Kuuuzuuu", I drawl again. He sighs and bends his head down again, scribbling something on his papers. Now I'd love to throw something at him, but I can't find anything.

"Kakuuuzuuu", I address him by his full name now, and to my surprise it works.

"What", he asks tonelessly. Damnit, he doesn't even turn his head _now_. How I hate being ignored. I start to pluck out some fluffs from one of the blankets lying on the bed. Kakuzu keeps the room so tidy you can hardly find anything to play around with when you're nervous.

"I'm hungry." He keeps writing, checking his bills or whatever.

"Then eat something."

"But we don't have anything." I sit up again and continue to stare at his back. He's wearing his cloak and hood, even his mask. I don't have the faintest idea why. We're inside, and it's pretty warm in here.

"Then go make something." Oh damn, what does he think I've come here for?

"I wanted to ask you to do it."

"Hidan, I'm _working_." He sounds a little annoyed, but his voice still lacks interest.

"Yeah, you're always working", I snort, "can't you take a fucking break or something?"

"No." Why not, for Jashin's sake? He's always sitting there with his eyes glued to some shit, and not paying any attention to me. I really hate that.

"But I suck at cooking."

"Hm", is Kakuzu's only answer. I get up from the bed and start to wander across the room. I feel the urge to walk over to him and hit him to make him look at me.

"I'm serious", I say, "every time I tried to, no one would eat it afterwards. Even the sandwiches I make are fucking disgusting." Too bad he still doesn't turn his head. Now he can't see me pouting.

"Then make something different", Kakuzu says. He's almost mumbling to himself, and this is what pushes me over the edge.

"But… but I can't think of anything", I almost yell, "all we have is some fucking rice, and I don't have a clue what to do with that. I wish I was as good at cooking as you, but I'm not, so I ask you to help me, but all you do is fucking work while I'm starving to…" Kakuzu slams his hand onto the desk and spins around on his chair, his green eyes furiously glaring at me.

"God, Hidan, would you please stop whining! You know I hate that voice!" I have to admit, I'm taken by surprise by his sudden reaction.

"Oh well", I finally say, "I hate my voice, too, but I only have this one, so you'll have to fucking deal with it!" He rests his head in his hands and starts to rub his temples, and I cross my arms in front of my chest.

"I didn't say I hate your voice, I meant I hate your voice when it's that whiny! You're complaining and bitching and whining all day, and you know what, it's driving me crazy!"

"And you know what's driving me fucking crazy?", I cry, "No matter what I say, you're always fucking yelling at me!"

"You're yelling at me as well!"

"Yeah, but you yelled at me first!"

"Because you wouldn't shut up!"

"Why don't you shut the fuck up?!" He sighs.

"God, I'm so sick of this. Sometimes I really wonder why I'm living together with you." I can literally feel my jaw drop at his words.

"Oh, you do?", I huff, "Well, we don't fucking have to live together, you know!" I rush over to the door and put my hand onto the handle, all raging and ready to leave.

"I can fuck off any time, if you're sick of me! And I don't fucking need to come back, if that's what you want! There's so many goddamned places I can go to!" No, I'm not crying, but yes, my voice is shaky.

"You just could have told me earlier that you want me to go…" Kakuzu grabs my arm in a sudden movement and pulls me close to him, hugging me almost violently to his chest. I struggle against his grip at first, but then I realize that I actually don't want to get away from him, and so I snuggle up to him.

"Jeez, Hidan, you're unstable today." He strokes my back, and as usual it calms me down at once.

"I don't wanna go."

"And I don't want you to go either, you moron."

"But you said it." This earns me a smack on the head.

"You get me wrong on purpose, don't you?", Kakuzu says, "You try to start a fight just to get my attention, right?" I look up at him, and to my relief I can see him smirking under his mask. So he isn't really angry at me anymore.

"I hate being ignored", I mumble, burying my face to his chest again, "I fucking hate it when you sit there all day and don't give me one single look."

"I know", Kakuzu sighs, "but that's the only way I get my work done. I know you don't like it, but I don't have the time to cook a four course dinner for you."

"You don't have to", I say quickly. Yes, I _am_ hungry, but it's not that important now.

"I just wanna be close to you", I continue when he loosens his grip a little, just in case he wants to let go of me. I feel comfortable in his arms, like a little kid comforted by a strong parent or something. Kakuzu sighs and sits down again. He pulls me onto his lap with my back to him and wraps his left arm around my waist so that I don't slip off.

"Close enough?"

"Yeah", I grin at him over my shoulder.

"Fine. Now we both got what we want. You're close to me, and I'm able to continue my work. If you stop distracting me, that is." He gives me a serious look.

"No more whining", he says sharply, "you just sit there with your mouth shut until I'm done, got that?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

He grabs the pencil he dropped a few minutes ago and continues writing, and I continue grinning. It's funny, really. I feel like a kid that has been allowed to stay up. He pushes me a little so that he can reach all the papers on his desk, pretending to be awfully busy. Well, he probably is. I don't have a clue what his work is about. Akatsuki's finances, I suppose. I look around a bit, trying to figure out what all the sheets on his desk read, but to be honest, it bores me to hell. I don't get why he's so keen on all those numbers and figures. I'd rather go hunt some more bounties, if I was him. Way more fun, if you ask me. Kakuzu removes his arm, reaching out for an eraser on the shelf. Made a mistake, huh?

"You're heavy", he says. I'm not, for Jashin's sake. I bet he's twice as heavy as me, judging from his height and stuff. Maybe he's trying to mock me on purpose, to see if I give another snappy answer, but all he gets as a reply is a snort. I _can_ keep my mouth shut. All of a sudden, his fingers start creeping up my spine, and involuntarily I arch my back. He laughs at my reaction.

"Sorry, I just had to." He removes his hand again, and I curse myself for not having said something. I want him to go on, damnit. I want his fucking hands on my body. But he doesn't touch me again. He just clears his throat.

"Hidan?"

"Yeah?" Uh, that's three _yeah_s in a row.

"Do you really hate your voice?" I grab another pencil that is lying on the desk and start to play around with it. Yes, I _am_ kind of nervous about this. That's probably the reason why Kakuzu's comment before freaked me out.

"Yeah." Number four. Wonderful. Usually I'm never at a lack of words, but now all I have to say is _yeah_? How stupid is this? Kakuzu lifts his head.

"And why is that?" He rests his head on my shoulder from behind, but I don't look up.

"Because it's…" I actually don't know what it is.

"…odd."

"Odd?", Kakuzu repeats.

"Yes, odd!", I insist, "It's, you know… umm…" _Not manly,_ I want to say, but I can't. I feel a bit awkward and start to fidget, but instead of blushing, I get angry.

"Fuck, I dunno", I say, "what _is_ my voice like, Kuzu?" He gives me a puzzled look.

"How'd you describe it, huh?", I ask, "Except that it's whiny all the time?" I realize that it _is_ whiny right now, and it pisses me off. Kakuzu licks his lips.

"It's sexy when you moan my name", he smirks.

"Asshole", I huff, and he gets the hint.

"Okay", he says and eventually drops his pencil.

"It's…", he starts, obviously searching for words, too, "it's… higher than mine, definitely."

"Right. And…?"

"And…" He gets stuck again, just like me before.

"Kind of…" Nope, this ain't easy.

"Rough?", I ask, "Piercing?" Kakuzu looks at me, and now I have a few more suggestions.

"Squeaky? Husky? Hoarse? Something like that?" Shit, now I've broken the pencil.

"Odd", I mumble, not too sure what I mean by that, the two wooden pieces in my hand or my annoying voice. Maybe both. Kakuzu is all gentle now, brushing my hair out of my face with much care.

"Why are you that angry?", he asks, "I took you for a pretty self-assured guy up to now."

"I am", I say, "just not about that." Yes, I bitch a lot about myself, about my eyes and hair and face and all that, but all in all I like myself. Damnit, who am I kidding here, I _love_ myself. I'm actually pretty self-centered, I guess.

"I like yours better", I go on, "because you sound like the handsome, powerful male adult you are."

Oops, was that a compliment to him or to myself?

"And you don't?", Kakuzu asks, still playing with my hair.

"Nah", I drawl, "not at all. I sound like a fucking ten year old."

"Well, from time to time you behave like one."

"I know." I wonder if I can break the two pencil pieces again, so that I have four? Kakuzu pokes my side, making me twitch.

"You're serious about this, aren't you", he frowns, and I nod my head. As hell I am.

"Jeez. I'm sorry then." Funny, now he doesn't give a damn about his work anymore. He wraps both his arms around my waist this time and squeezes me so tightly I gasp for air.

"I didn't know this bugged you so much."

"It's not _that_ bad", I say, "I just wish my fucking voice was a little more… masculine or something. A little lower, perhaps."

"But the voice of your demon form is", Kakuzu replies. I stare at him first, but then I burst out laughing.

"My… my _what_?", I giggle, not able to hold back, "My _demon form_?" Kakuzu looks a little angry, but also somewhat amused.

"What?", he asks, "I mean what you look like when you're in battle." I would fall off the chair right now if he didn't hold me. I'm laughing so hard now I can feel tears run down my cheeks.

"I… I know what you mean", I say, "I just never heard anyone call it a _demon_." I can't get over that word! It matches my appearance pretty well, I guess, but… _demon_! Kakuzu really has me in hysterics now.

"What's so funny about that?", he asks and raises an eyebrow, "How'd you call it, huh?"

"I… I dunno", I gasp between laughs, "my alter ego? My battle form? My… my _curse form_? I didn't have a name for it up to now." I wipe away my tears, but still can't stop giggling.

"…unstable", Kakuzu repeats and shakes his head. His comment almost cracks me up again, and I struggle not to shriek with laughter a second time.

"Yeah, just like my voice", I chuckle.

"Hm-hm, matches your personality quite well", Kakuzu says, and I wonder how he can stay that calm. Now matter how funny or sarcastic his comments are, he never laughs about them himself. What makes them even funnier, to be honest. I finally manage to calm down a little and catch my breath again.

"Does it really match my personality, Kuzu?", I ask, still grinning at him.

"You bet", he answers, and hugs me even closer to him, "it's special."

"Special? What? My voice or my personality?"

"Everything about you, Hidan." Now I'm not laughing anymore. I always get a bit confused when he gives me one of those looks. As if he… _adored_ me or something.

"Everything?", I ask, and for once my voice is soft and low.

"Everything", Kakuzu repeats, "the way you talk, the way you move, the way you look, the way you eat… everything's special." I turn my head to the side. I can't look at him when he's talking like that.

"I like special things", he adds and pokes my side again, "you know? Normal things bore me to no end." Yeah, yeah, I get it. I know he meant special in a positive way. Otherwise he wouldn't be my partner.

"I love you", he whispers, and now I finally blush.

"Despite the fact that I'm getting on your nerves all the time and keep you from working and sound and behave like a fucking ten year old?" Kakuzu groans, and I get another smack on the head.

"Not despite all those facts, Hidan. Because of them." I turn my head, not giving a damn if he sees my flushed face or not this time.

"Otherwise I wouldn't have stopped you from leaving", he continues, and gives me a shy kiss. It always feels a little weird through the mask, but yet I like it. Kakuzu finally leans back, and I instinctively reach out for him in order not to fall. He watches me trying to get hold of his cloak with an amused grin.

"Now let's stop that sentimental chattering", he says, "what about dinner?"

"You're such an asshole."

I smile at him, and he smiles back. He knows it's my way of saying _I love you too, Kuzu_.


End file.
